i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
