i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
