Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
