I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
did you just send me my own nude
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
