A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
