Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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