I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
