so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
