i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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