Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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