Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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