drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Send help, water and tortillas.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
