Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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