VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
