Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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