So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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