It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
