Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize