My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize