I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize