What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
