you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
