Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize