Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
