I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
