You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i think i just lost a toe
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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