At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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