My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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