That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
