he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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