the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
PANTIES FOUND
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