big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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