i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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