Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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