New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
