I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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