I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
