How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
