Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
