LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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