What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
