I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
