I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
