I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
