I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
