what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
