used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
