i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
