Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
