So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
