I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
