doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
