So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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