I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
