i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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