Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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