He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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