Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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