this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
