i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
