I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
