She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
