ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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