"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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