Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
