I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
