She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
