I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
