There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
