I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
