I'm gonna have a badass scar
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
