I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have post one night stand depression
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize