i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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