Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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