In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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