I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
