Whod you bang
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
